After being picked up in a limo by two very kind gentle persons, I boarded a plane that reminded me to lose weight and eat less, and, after a few thrilling hours, I've landed in a place that will be my home for the foreseeable future. I am, apparently one of the first lucky beneficiaries of a new government program aimed at addressing the acute skills shortages in a number of sectors of the economy.
The camp is one of the best organised ventures I've seen in a long time. Picture Christmas Island, but without the ocean. I believe it is in Australia, judging by the number of flies.
It is hot, mostly during the day, and usually very cold at night, thanks, sadly, to the government being forced to stop the insulation scheme because of a few shonky operators. Luckily though, the offices were insulated just in time, so that our associate instructors don't have to suffer.
The first thing we've learned when we landed was to get rid of our negativity. Negativity, especially from the Opposition, is what drives this country into the ground.
Recycling is big business in this place, so there are Say Yes signs everywhere.
The quarters we live in are called "Boganville", apparently after a bougainvillea bush that used to thrive here, before the drought and the Murray Darling basin problems that the government are tackling now head on.
The water here is 100% recycled, and everybody feels like being cosmonauts.
I've made friends immediately. So cuddly!
I've been so lucky that the free medical inspection (part of the re-skilling loan) has revealed a high risk of heart failure, because of my weight and unhealthy lifestyle. Therefore, I've been assigned to the new Green Energy program, funded by the newly established Green Energy fund.
The program is strongly focussed on developing new technologies, and I am so proud to be so lucky to be part of it, while improving my health.
During the day solar panels power the whole complex and 25% of the country. At night, teams of Green Energy Volunteers, like myself, are pedalling to generate the electricity required by the Nation.
The diet here is the government approved CSIRO diet. We eat five vegetables a day and closely watch our portions sizes.
We eat no meat because it used to come from countries that don't employ the Australian Standards in regards to slaughtering.
We have free access to the NBN (as part of our re-skilling loan), and boy, it is fast!
Even with the filter that protects us from pedophiles and other negative influences, it is so fast that it publishes what I write 2 milliseconds before I type.
We are getting a daily ration of plain packaging cigarettes that I am using to get access to the free laptops (part of the re-skilling loan) that every single one of us has received. Everybody agrees that these cigarettes are much more healthy than the branded ones. Some argue that the worst ones were those with the gangrene photo on them. The ones with the eye pictured were so, so.
Anyhow, gotta fly.
Cheerio!
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